So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize