kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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