My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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