never play flip cup with pint glasses
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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