Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
