before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Two words: blizzard sex
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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