First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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