using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
