Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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