the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
