Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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