she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
