i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
