By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
