Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
