I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize