you win again, gameday.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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