was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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