Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
