I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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