I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
