Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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