time to smoke my breakfast
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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