I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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