Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
