The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
