: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize