just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
