im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
