hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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