My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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