I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize