I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
