i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
