Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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