So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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