I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize