Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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