I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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