Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
