i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
