if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
