i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
