morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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