The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
