I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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