my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
