this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
