Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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