Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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