My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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