I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
