she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
