Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
