Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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