Dual....:-)
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
