he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
is it fun? or sober?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
