we're chasing vodka with high fives
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Rumble strips road head = magical
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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