You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together