Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.