idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
