I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.