i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
