We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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