If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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